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Dear Subscriber First Name, Whenever I talk with people about grateful living, I refer to it as a moment-to-moment practice. This implies that it is both readily accessible and merciful. Every moment becomes an opportunity to practice, and to begin again. It means that an experience of gratefulness can be available to us whenever we slow down enough to remember what matters most to us, and allow ourselves the gift of perspective before we act. There is one simple, very effective grateful living practice that can help to grant us perspective and it stands out among all those in my book, Wake Up Grateful. It is called, From Obligation to Opportunity. Or, as it is more commonly known, “Have/Get To.” Whenever I teach, this particular practice of perspective shifting ends up being one of people’s most valuable takeaways. And I will never forget how it first came clear to me… It was 2019 and I was weighing a decision about joining friends on a vacation. On the up-side of the scale was the fun and adventure I knew I’d be likely to have. On the other side was a formidable, growing list of responsibilities and considerations that kept me from feeling fully free to go. There were the challenges of leaving a house in the frigid mid-winter, as well as beloved, aging parents who often needed care and whom I would miss. Then, there was a book deadline looming in addition to the voluminous to-do’s of my job. Also, healthcare appointments I’d made, projects I was in the middle of, and plants to keep alive. The list kept getting longer and I was starting to feel, well…beleaguered. Also burdened, bummed out, and boring, to be really honest. Perhaps you can relate… Then, a “for-real” epiphany cracked me open: What if all of these things that felt heavy with obligation were actually a measure of the weight of my good fortune? What if the long list of things and people I now needed to consider as I made decisions was evidence of my many blessings, not my burdens? What if all the things that might keep me from saying an easy “yes” to the vacation invitation were the exact same things that made my life rich and meaningful? I knew that many people would long for the relationships I “had to” take into account and the commitments I “had to” keep. I was rich in a way that had nothing to do with money; I was rich with the privilege of my relationships and responsibilities. Quite literally, in that moment, my perspective changed completely, and it has remained transformed ever since. In any moment that I start to feel a familiar beleagueredness creep in, I can switch the state of my heart and mind in an instant by remembering that I do not have to do all the things I am doing, I get to do them. I have “to-do’s” because the good fortune of my life allows me to have people, things, and responsibilities to tend, and the capacities to actually tend them. I have a body that works. I have time. And because I do not take my own life or the lives of others for granted, I know that these opportunities are not going to be here forever. So, while I can, I get to be of use. I get to love. I did not end up going on that particular vacation, but I know that my time at home felt a lot less burdensome and boring than my mind was making it in the pit of comparison. I learned to give myself the gift of appreciating my obligations as opportunities and, even though it may sound corny, this made my time at home feel as rich with meaning as a vacation often feels to me. I realized I did not need to “go away” from home; I needed to go away from feeling beleaguered.
In 2026, I will be sharing more simple ways to cultivate what I call the “spiritual musculature” of a grateful perspective. For now, I leave you with guidance below about developing this core practice, some thoughts about the blessings of contentment, a beautiful poem, and my heartfelt thanks. I hope that these sources of inspiration help to uplift your intentions and fill your heart as we approach the beginning of a new calendar year. May you walk through the days ahead in touch with the preciousness and tenderness of all that you hold dear. And may you feel yourself both held in love and as a source of great love that the world needs. You are… Wishing you the most grateful of holidays. From my heart -
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