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Dear Subscriber First Name, For the last three months, I have spent six days a week with my beloved Dad who suffered a sudden-onset bacterial infection in his spine which nearly took his life and has kept him mostly confined to bed ever since. My Dad has had to adjust to needing a lot of care, and my family has had to adjust to being care-providers. What I mean to say is that we have “gotten” to adjust to being care-providers… Many of you are familiar with the practice in the beginning of Wake Up Grateful that I call “from obligation to opportunity;” a practice which invites us to see our responsibilities as privileges. It is a powerful reframing to look at the things we often feel we “have to” do as things we actually “get to” do. With perspective, we are able to see all the ways that having to tend to responsibilities means that we are able to do so. Our “to-do” lists become “get-to-do” lists when we do not take our lives - and all that makes up our lives - for granted. When we are grateful to have bodies that can carry us from one place to another, to still have beloved people who need tending, resources to purchase what we need, access to medical care, a car to transport us…it reminds us that there are many people who would give anything to have our “to-do’s” and the means to fulfill them. It is important to expand our vantage point to be more inclusive and to recognize that it is otherwise for many people. And one day, it may be otherwise for us. One of the huge benefits of this particular grateful living practice of perspective-shifting is noticing the powerful ways that one word can carry impact, both for ourselves and for those around us. When I carry something as a “have-to,” I carry it as burdensome. When I carry something as a “get-to,” I carry it as a blessing. Pick one important item that is on your to-do list. Now say it to yourself as, “I have to…” and then say to yourself, “I get to.” Perhaps try this a few times and with different things on your list. Can you feel the difference in your body? Mind? Heart? Can you imagine how differently you might approach a task that carries one of these energies as opposed to the other? How much it might impact your wellbeing…before, during and after doing it? Now, imagine how differently it is likely to impact the wellbeing of those who are on the receiving end of your energy as you go through your to-do’s. The people at the grocery store checkout line. The person on the other end of the phone. The dentist. Car mechanic. Salesperson. The friend or family member in need. Knowing that it is a privilege to still have a parent to whom to offer my care, I make every effort to drive to the nursing home each day in touch with my good fortune. I would like to think my Dad can tell the difference between the energy I transmit that comes from “get-to” rather than “have-to.” In fact, I know he does. I believe we can all tell the difference…and I believe with all my heart that it makes a difference. I hope the care you give and receive in the days, months, and years ahead will be filled with a sense of opportunity more than obligation. And I hope that the resources on my website and in the museletter below provide abundant inspiration and support for cultivating grateful perspectives on your journey.
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